He focuses on the feeling of Cabeswater, wishing that he could just somehow teleport there and trying to make peace with the fact that all he has is this nebulous connection. Going to Cabeswater sounds good, anyway. He could convince the ley line to bring Gansey back. Take him instead. Adam's important to no one while news of Gansey would send ripples across the whole world over. At least that's how it feels to Adam. He could see it now, the woods entrapping him, pulling him underground, suffocating and pulling his life force out and feeding it into his best friend so he'd live again. It'd only be right.
This masochism grounds Adam more than anything else has been able to, and by the time Kavinsky arrives and is opening the door to let Adam out, he can actually do things of his own will for the most part. Or at the very least, he's not in panicked fight-or-flight mode. His barrier starts to recede, quick enough to avoid poison but not so quick that when Kavinsky touches him, his palm is embedded with a thorn or two, suddenly brought into reality with the need to keep him away.
But Adam hears, guilty that he hurt yet another friend, so he apologizes profusely, uncaring of the vomit covering the floor of the car and Ronan's phone and himself. He avoids contact with Kavinsky and keeps his head down as the barrier recedes completely and he stumbles out of the car and into the rain. He's shaking, from cold and adrenaline and fear and he's never been this scared.
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Date: 2015-03-19 11:06 pm (UTC)This masochism grounds Adam more than anything else has been able to, and by the time Kavinsky arrives and is opening the door to let Adam out, he can actually do things of his own will for the most part. Or at the very least, he's not in panicked fight-or-flight mode. His barrier starts to recede, quick enough to avoid poison but not so quick that when Kavinsky touches him, his palm is embedded with a thorn or two, suddenly brought into reality with the need to keep him away.
But Adam hears, guilty that he hurt yet another friend, so he apologizes profusely, uncaring of the vomit covering the floor of the car and Ronan's phone and himself. He avoids contact with Kavinsky and keeps his head down as the barrier recedes completely and he stumbles out of the car and into the rain. He's shaking, from cold and adrenaline and fear and he's never been this scared.