"Don't talk to me." Blue angles herself widely around Kavinsky. There was some moment, when they arrived, that she cared. That she liked him and appreciated him and felt like Kavinsky belonged, and now she feels dirty for it. It all feels like terrible betrayal and she's furious for it. The only saving grace is that Gansey is alive at the Barns, and they were going to him.

She's furious, and she's aching. She has to go see Gansey now, the real Gansey, and all that would be on her mind beyond the relief that he was indeed alive and that this whole mess might've saved him was that she'd kissed someone else. Gansey, yes, but not him. She gets to know what it's like, how perfect and amazing it was, that whole evening cemented permanently at the forefront of her memory, and it wasn't him. She's not sure who'll have it worse there, Gansey for not getting to know, or Blue for knowing.

Until she's sure of all of it, until they have proof that this whole thing changed the course of what was to happen, she couldn't kiss him again. She can't go through this again.

Her mind races, and she averts all eye contact from everyone as she gets closer to the Evo. She gets into the back seat and slams the door, folding into as small a ball as she could, seatbelt on, neck of her jacket pulled up around her face as she stares out the window.