He looks out over the fields, shivering. He's been asleep for so long that everything is getting to him now. His memories of what went on before this are filtering back in, and he remembers coming here with Ronan and Kavinsky. He remembers having fun with them, and finally letting himself let loose. He wonders how much of that they did with this other Gansey. A Gansey that is now dead and buried. Did they like him better? Maybe they did.

He rubs at his face, then starts walking, searching over the fields until he gets to the barns and turns that way instead. He doesn't see Ronan anywhere else. This must be where he is. When he pokes his head in, he sees them there. Ronan and Kavinsky, like two headed beasts, curled into each other, one looking more sullen than the other.

He wants to blame Kavinsky. He wants to throw the whole thing on him, because everything changed when Kavinsky came along, and deceitful ideas can only come from someone like him. He wants to tell himself that he'd be the one leading Ronan down a darker path, pulling him away from all his friends. That this was his intention all along. He only wants Ronan in the end.

But when Kavinsky looks up at him, he can see so many other things flashing in those dark eyes. Relief, being one of them. Relief, sadness, hope, relief, like someone looking at a friend, glad to see them alive. Gansey shoves away all those other thoughts, and realizes they're all from jealousy. Ronan did what he gave him permission to do, and Kavinsky followed along. Gansey doesn't blame anyone but himself here.

"Ronan. You ran out of the room so fast, I didn't get to talk to you," Gansey says to Ronan, clearing his throat.